End of the year disappointments and hopes for the future

Well, it is getting to the end of the year and time to harvest on the homestead and hopefully a moving into a slowing down period.  It isn't all going as planned though. Because I am in school and work full time, December is a rough month because of moving into winter for real on the homestead which can always cause problems for any animal that may be a bit weak, it is time for me to cull any unecessary animals so I can afford to keep my breeders and pets and for the realization that what I have put up is what I have and won't get any more until the growing season again.  On top of the homestead stuff to take care of, it is exam time and then I have to think of gifts too. 

For school:
I have made it successfully through exams, not as happy with grades but I did my best, so now I move on...

For gifts:
I have great ideas for gifts for everyone but every year I seem to run out of time faster and this year, in particular, time and money have been an issue.  I always make as much of the gifts for family and friends as I can but that takes a lot of time. I did start working ahead and I do have jams and butters made up already. I hope to get a bit of baking done though too.

For homestead:
Well, I have had some really big disappointments. I lost one of my rex rabbits, I think she was on the "weak" end of the scale and the weather and all just took their toll. She was in the barn with everyone else but she just wasn't as active and she is one of my new rabbits.  I have a pair of rex now but I like having the extra security of 2 does.  Also, none of the does that were bred took, so no kits...probably just as well though because the weather has been so up and down.  I have also lost a few more baby chicks, I have no idea why.

My biggest losses however have definite causes. My muscovy black/white drake, Lancelot, was hit by a car, along with one of the girls. They had been free ranging and much healthier and had chosen their own place to hang out at night sheltered under a tree. Even though there are 12 acres of farm field and 70 acres of woods behind me, they decided the road was interesting. :-( They are now all locked up in the shed. I took one of the meat ducks out of the meat pen and added him to the flock that is staying to replace Lancelot. So, one more loss of food for the freezer plus the female for eggs in the spring.

Worse of all though is the human thief.  I get frustrated with predators like the owl that took nearly my whole flock of teenage Khaki campbells and the fox that took several of my new hens.  However, it is nature, it happens and you mourn the loss and move on.  This is a violation and I feel violated and very angry. Someone came onto my property, went into my rabbit barn and into my secure coop inside where I had 4 turkeys, one a tom just ready for harvesting and 2 polish chickens and took the tom.  I was away for the weekend and when I got back I saw that the turkey was missing (my brother fed and watered everyone but never opened the coop and didn't really keep track of who was where...he knew the turkeys in there were healthy looking each day and that was all he was concerned about).  There is absolutely no way the turkey tom could have escaped that coop inside the barn...it is completely secure and is inside another building with a door.  Someone earlier last week had stopped by and was upset because my brother told him the drakes he asked about were not for sale... my suspicion is that is was him but of course, I have no proof.  That turkey would have been Yule dinner plus about a weeks worth or more of other meals plus broth and food for Trollie.  The loss of that bird plus the duck is just a big set back.  I understand whoever took him may have a need greater than mine but I doubt it. If someone was in that much need, they could have asked and I might have been able to help... however, I am barely making ends meet, actually, most months I don't, making the sacrifice to feed these birds over that past season was so that I could have them in my freezer to feed me through the winter... there are several places in town where a family can get a turkey dinner, no questions asked.  As much as I would like to be charitable, this just has kind of ruined my "happy" feelings around the holiday.

However, I am not destitute... I planned on certain animals to get me through the winter, it will be a bit of a stretch now, more so than it was already going to be and I will probably be taking one of the ducks early for holiday dinner.  I have had people offer to get me a bird but as sweet as that is, it isn't the same. I raised this turkey up, he was treated well, in fact he was partly raised by someone else with a couple of the girls I have and when I tried to separate him so he would have more space he got really despondent and kept calling for "his" girls so I kept him with them and he was much happier.  I know he had a good life and was hoping he would sustain me and my family too.  Now, I don't know how he will be treated, if he will be wasted, etc. I had plans of stock and soups and using his feathers in crafts and his big wings and tail for sweat lodge. I am just really upset and trying to let it go.

So, part of this post is just letting it all out there and letting it go. I want to start the solstice off on a positive note and work on moving forward with my goals.